Tuesday, September 26, 2006

100 Things About Me

  1. I had dreams of becoming a pop singer.
  2. I still do.
  3. But just a small teeny weeny part in me.
  4. When I'm in my room alone, I practice my "sexy come-hither pout" in front of the mirror.
  5. I dreamt of becoming a news-reader too. But since that dream is no where near reality, read out loud headlines from the day's papers and if I try really hard, I can see the cameras rolling.
  6. Each and every time I take my first sip of a Starbucks' latte, I make orgasmic oooh-and-aaah sounds.
  7. I have a horrible nose that comes along with a terrible sinus problem.
  8. I tell it to people in their faces if they have bad breath.
  9. I fantasize about being blindfolded, gagged, all tied up and then being forced to perform sexual acts.
  10. I used to flirt with fat, ugly and horny policemen to avoid getting a ticket, but these days I couldn't be arsed cos the cops are getting fatter and uglier by the day! Just gimme the ticket goddamit.
  11. I'm quite the snoot - if you want to speak to me in English, please ensure that your command of the language is above average. Otherwise, just do it in your mother tongue. I speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese and BM - all fluently.
  12. I sleep with only my panties on.
  13. My tastebuds prefer Tiger to Carslberg.
  14. When I go bra-less on certain days due to the nature of my outfit, I worry if my erected nipples are visibly protruding when I enter a cold room.
  15. I worry about not being able to have children when it's time for me to do so.
  16. Childbirth scare the living daylight out of me since I found out that they'd have to snip my vagina to widen it if I were to opt for natural delivery.
  17. I'm generally a happy and cheerful person.
  18. The most I've drank in one night would be half a bottle of 750ml Smirnoff vodka in the span of 20 minutes. It was a dare. I won.
  19. I have consumed 15 glasses (ie 3 whole bottles) of red wine in one night. I staggered home in a cab after that.
  20. Men are not the only liars in relationships. I've cheated on ex-boyfriends before when I was younger.
  21. I love my current man to bits and would never do anything to hurt him.
  22. My comfort food is KFC original fried chicken.
  23. ... and Domino's thin crust beef pepperoni pizza.
  24. ... and McNuggets.
  25. ... and waffles with ice cream.
  26. I am a Red Devils fan.
  27. But I'm not against LFC or their fans OK? I share the bed with one, you goon!
  28. I have started using anti-ageing skincare products.
  29. Once, I dirty-danced with a young Caucasian couple in a club in Perth.
  30. They asked if I'd like to finish up the night at their apartment with a menage-a-trois.
  31. I politely declined with a lame reason.
  32. I am a self-proclaimed-SMS-addict and can tell grandmother stories via SMSes.
  33. I've smooched strangers in clubs.
  34. My dad is my idol!
  35. I look older than my age and have been granted entry into most clubs since I was 16.
  36. But I have stopped clubbing because I'm getting old. My bones and liver need a break.
  37. These days, my life is a routine.
  38. Clam chowder brings back good memories.
  39. I plan to retire by the beach.
  40. Or a farm in New Zealand.
  41. When van Nistelrooy was still with MU, I have thought about shagging him right in the middle of the field at Old Trafford.
  42. Since there are no more shaggable studs on the team, Henry would do just fine.
  43. Ooooh, maybe we could do it at the new Emirates stadium too!
  44. Luis Garcia is mighty shaggable too.
  45. I am a sucker for the bad-boy-rock-star look.
  46. I love men with goatees.
  47. I have ugly feet.
  48. I am looking for cash sponsors so that I can have liposuction performed on my tummy area.
  49. While you're at it, my thighs could do with some work too.
  50. I would never go out with someone who cannot speak proper English.
  51. I am afraid of using whitening products, have things go wrong and I end up an albino.
  52. I can be quite a nag.
  53. I am terribly particular about the strands of hair which are lying around on the room floor, and spend time every night picking them up.
  54. I love being in front of the camera.
  55. The curtains in my room don't match.
  56. I use 2 different types of fabric, a wooden blind, and a bunting from a previous event.
  57. I condemn hover-above-clean-toilet-seat ladies to eternal hell! If it's clean, sit! If you dirty it, clean!
  58. I dislike cats.
  59. I wear a lot of black.
  60. I'm laid back.
  61. But forced to adapt to crazy work schedules.
  62. A particular client I'm working with currently has made me realize the mobile phone is the dumbest piece of shit ever created.
  63. I dislike getting calls from clients at 1am in the morning.
  64. I may not be sleeping, but I still don't like clients calling me at 1am.
  65. I have been in several nasty accidents - traffic or otherwise.
  66. I think Hollywood is fun and exciting.
  67. I memorize lyrics to Chinese songs so that I can belt them out at karaoke bars, since I can't read.
  68. I like them studded.
  69. I actually like eating breast meat - not just for health reasons.
  70. Barbequed chicken wings come a close second.
  71. Yes, I enjoy my dose of trashy novels.
  72. I can change my own tyres.
  73. I wish all the cancer in the world would just go away.
  74. I smoke about 10-12 cigarettes a day.
  75. It increases with the numbers of alcoholic drinks I consume after work.
  76. Johnson's baby lotion is my after-shower indulgence.
  77. I pay RM8 to get my car washed once every.. uh.. 6-8 weeks?
  78. A cup of hot coffee in the morning makes me function better.
  79. I cannot work on a hungry stomach.
  80. I sometimes drink oats to replace dinner.
  81. My clothes are getting loose, but I could still do with some weight loss.
  82. I have a cleavage which is to-die-for and have no qualms showing it off.
  83. My biggest worry about ageing has nothing to do with wrinkles or cellulite - but rather my boobs falling prey to gravity.
  84. I think tampons are the best thing that happened to women since rich-and-old tycoons.
  85. I fancy my alcoholic drinks.
  86. I'm a podium girl when we hit the clubs for a night of drinking and dancing.
  87. I am the eldest of 4 daughters.
  88. Together, we can bring the house down.
  89. When I was drunk many moons ago, I stepped on broken glass and ended up with a 13cm cut on the sole of my left foot.
  90. At my first break-up, I chain-smoked 2 packets of Marlboro that night.
  91. He was good while it lasted.
  92. I'm pretty good at playing pool.
  93. I think golf is stupid.
  94. P-'effin-GA what?
  95. I use vulgarities.
  96. Just sometimes.
  97. Oooh, this has been fun.
  98. 2 more to go!
  99. 1 more!
  100. And I'm there!

Posted by Doreen at 9:24 am


Thursday, September 21, 2006

fifty9 minutes

The Oral Stage is back with its third season!

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original short plays and monologues performed within one hour.

“Two friends discover faith, direction and the truth. An actress whom we all like to hate. A bitter past haunts a bitterer couple. A girl finds beauty in ugliness. A man and a woman make love over dinner. A fellow Malaysian makes the country proud. And a group of roommates bring back the dead- all within fiftynineminutes”

When September 28th - October 1st 2006 @ 8.30 pm

Where The Dram Projects, BG06 Happy Mansion Apartments, Jalan 17/13 46400 PJ

Tickets RM10

Ticket contact Louisa Low @ 0163757833

Yup, I'm in one of the pieces, so please come and show me that you love me?

Posted by Doreen at 9:49 am


Monday, September 11, 2006

My Devilish Angel

The first 2 tattoos I got was more of a "fun" thing to do. I did it because I could and because I wanted to.

For the third one, I thought about it long and hard before I went to see Simon @ Borneo Ink.

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Many, many, many years ago, I was a devil. No, I didn't kill anybody.. I was just 'going thru a phase' I guess. The whole nobody-understands-me shit, the rebellion, the hurt I caused people, the hurt I caused myself.

Well, I grew up, and fortunately, out of that so-called phase.

Sure, a beer and a cigarette ain't gonna hurt no one. And an occassional night out which ends with me bending over a gutter to empty out the contents of my stomach is all in the name of good fun.

I made mom cry. I stabbed dad in the heart. Today, all I want is for them to live the rest of their lives comfortable, happy and worry-free.

I was somewhat hesitant about monogamy, but am now a true practitioner and believer.

I used to think that all I wanted to do in life was to have fun. Today, I know that just having fun ain't gonna have my bills paid, and it must come from slogging my ass off 5 days a week!

I wanted something to commemorate my 25th year of being me. This year has been really special in so many ways. But most importantly, its been a year whereby my personal growth is truly "visible". Visible as in, I see heaps of big changes in me since I turned 25. Good changes.

The angel represents the "goodness" which I've become and still trying to become. The devils' fork (and the the horns on the halo) to remind me of my transition, and also to remind me that a little fun and naughtiness now and then is OK, because I don't want to be so uptight anyway!

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To protect the originality of the artwork, I won't be uploading a close-up shot of the tattoo :)

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Posted by Doreen at 10:04 am


Friday, September 08, 2006

Friday Cheer

I know I'm supposed to post, but I really can't be arsed about it cos I'm just so excited that the weekend has finally arrived.

A cemetry has a tombstone, more than 100 years old with the following epitaph :

Pause, stranger, when you pass me by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be.
So prepare for death and follow me.

An unknown passerby scratched these additional words on the tombstone:

To follow you I'm not content,
Until I know which way you went.

Tatoo! Sleeping in! EPL! Bottle of chardonnay in the fridge! Junk food! More pigging out!

Till next Monday, have a good weekend guys. I know I will.

Posted by Doreen at 4:12 pm


Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Sole Reason My Sole Hurts

I limped around for most of last night, after wrapping up an event.

My feet hurts.

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Exactly where does it hurt? The fleshy mound under the sole of your feet? For reference, refer to the circle I drew on the above diagram.

And the cause?

14 hours of standing and running around in these...

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And because the sole of my feet hurts, I'll only post up something tomorrow.

Posted by Doreen at 5:24 pm