Thursday, August 30, 2007

bikini set-up

"Looook! You're all brown!" he said when I walked through the door.

Yep, I'm about as brown as having spent 4 days on some idyllic beach. Except, nothing of that sort happened.

We spent 3 days setting up, and it rained on the evening of the event which pretty much ruined everything, and then I spent the fourth day dismantling the props which were never really used the evening before.

"We feel you should rent some canopies, just in case it rains" went on deaf ears. The client wouldn't have it despite us raising the matter on more than one occassion.

"We have such an awesome outdoor setting on our property, what a waste to have canopies! We want our guests to dine under the stars!" they insisted.

"We have transparent canopies?" I tried.

Nope, they wouldn't have it.

So it rained, and rained, and rained on the night of their big day.

"Bloody hell, I spent 3 days under the sun for nothing!" I said to him.

"Yeah - next time outdoor set-up you wear bikini lah, at least you get a nice tan all over".

Posted by Doreen at 5:40 pm


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Shampoo Me!

My boss and I recently had lunch with the CEO and the Marketing Director of a reputable property developer.

The CEO was a real nice guy, humble and all. When the beans arrived, he proclaimed that he grew up eating a lot of lentils and beans, and promptly stood up and scooped a serving of that dish onto all our plates.

But today's story is about the Marketing Director, let's call her MD.

MD is in her 40s, and she has a posterior about the size of a baby elephant. Anyways, the story isn't about her posterior, but I just thought it's worth a mention because of its bulk.

After lunch, CEO excused himself as he has another meeting to attend to, thus leaving us three ladies to enjoy our fruit platter.

"You know ah, the other day, I bought a bottle of Dove shampoo and it came with a smaller bottle of moisturiser for free, so that night I went home and applied that moisturiser all over my neck, arms and legs," MD began her story.

Me and boss listened intently, wondering what could be so exciting about applying moisturiser on your body.

"So I applied it before I went to sleep, every night for about 2-3 nights, till I developed some weird looking rashes on my neck," she continued.

Our ears perked. I mean, we are only human. Humans love watching another human suffer. Right?

MD then pulled aside her collar slightly to show us her rashes. It was bad - very bad. A patch of skin on her neck was red like a beetroot. The skin on that area also appeared really tight and it looked like something really itchy and painful.

I pushed away the last piece of papaya on my plate.

"Aiya, it turns out I applied shampoo on my my body for 2 consecutive nights, thinking it was moisturiser!" said MD.

I suppresed the need to laugh out loud, but in my head went, "WTF?"

My boss was obviously far more curious than me, and she asked MD bluntly, "Err... how did that happen?"

"No lah, it was written on the bottle - Extra Moisturising - so I thought it's a moisturiser lah!"


I'm super curious now. Didn't she feel the icky-ness when she went to bed with shampoo all over her body?

Posted by Doreen at 5:59 pm


Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I got home from work at about 2am on Sunday night.

So come Monday morning, I was so sleepy I let out a yawn for every kilometre I travelled. Traffic into town was surprisingly heavy, considering the fact that it is the school holiday. Then again, the SMART tunnel is closed until this Friday.

I leaned backwards and stared ahead drowsily...

... and suddenly, I was jolted awake when I heard cars honking furiously behind me.

Tee hee hee. I fell alseep at the wheel!

Posted by Doreen at 10:12 am


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Story of a Working Class Girl

Once upon a time, there was a working class girl who commutes around the Valley in what she thinks is her trusty old Kenari.

On one fine morning, sticking to her usual routine, working class girl made it a point to check the condition of the car tyres before starting up the engine. To her dismay, she found a flat and cursed like a Chinaman contractor. She drove slowly to the nearest mechanic shop.

Upon inspection, the mechanic told her that the tyre had no nail puncture whatsoever. However, the rim had a damage, thus causing air to seep out, and thus the flat. The rim's damage is caused by the Valley's numerous potholes. Working class girl cursed again, this time like a mama-san who's whores have been rounded up by the police.

Being late for work, and having a huge presentation that day itself, she told the mechanic to fix the rim, and change the tyre. What's so shitty is that the tyres are only 3 months old.

Working class girl learnt a lesson that morning. Avoid potholes at all cost.

She eventually got to work alright and started preparing for her presentation later that day. At about 3pm, she left for the client's place and parked the car (illegally of course) at the side of the road while she ran up for the meeting. About 2 hours later, she ran down again, expecting to find a summons stuck to her windscreen.


"Eh, there is a God afterall!" she thought to herself.

*kreeek kreeek* went the car engine as she tried to turn the ignition on. She tried again and again but the damn Kenari just would not start!

"Fark - I take back what I just said! Dammit!"

Being a damsel in distress, she smiled pathetically at some passerby and a nice Indian man came to her rescue. He told her that her battery konked.

Working class girl was thankful for a recent insurance policy she purchased which came with complimentary road assistance, and within an hour, the insurance company sent a mechanic braving through peak hour KL traffic and replaced a brand new battery for her.


Back to office. Work beckons.

Hah! What a day.

Posted by Doreen at 7:24 pm


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

How like that?

Only the RM285 and RM365 tickets are left for sale. The others are all sold out, or allocated for media give-aways. Dammit.

How like that?

Posted by Doreen at 7:03 pm


Friday, August 10, 2007


The past week has been extremely hectic and this time round, Friday is not synonymous with the weekend.

I have yet to purchase tickets for Gwen Stefani's concert. I wonder what kind of seats are left, especially when I can only afford the last 2 tiers. Sigh.

Posted by Doreen at 12:35 pm


Thursday, August 02, 2007

Loving KL

Working in the city centre requires some getting used to.

Parking is shit. The parking lot I park at is just across the road from my office block, and it costs RM5.50 a day. At this parking lot, you'd be lucky to just be double parked. Rows and rows of cars are just parked one after another, and if you want to park here, you'd have to give your car keys to the parking attendant.

Halfway through the day, say you've got an appointment to head to, you'd have to give yourself more time because on a bad day, it might take the carpark dude a good 20 minutes to eventually move your car out of that maze.

Don't even get me started on the state of the parking lot - it's cobbled, dirty and pot-holed. On a hot day, the sand and dirt rise in the air and the chirping birds atop the trees shit on your car. On a wet day, the pot holes are filled with brown murky water. Dry or wet, walking across the lot has proven an arduous task, especially in 3-inch heels.

Food is more expensive in town. A plate of rice with 3 dishes - 2 greens and 1 meat - will usually cost me about RM3.50 to RM4.00 in the suburbs. But that very same plate of rice will cost me anywhere between RM4.00 - RM5.00, depending on that fat-butchy-looking woman's mood. I swear to you - she has something against hot-looking girls.

Working in this part of the Valley also means that there is no such thing as "running a quick errand". Just "around the corner" will take you an hour back and forth, and 45 minutes on a good day. I mean, seriously, there must be a lot of casualties in ambulances on their way to hospitals within the city?

And because of the congestion, I try and "act smart" by cutting my way through little roads unknown to me, thinking that I'll escape the jam and besides, how hard can it be right? KL Tower and KLCC are my towering landmarks - I just have to drive towards them right? Obviously I get lost like a gazillion times.

Is that why I fell in love with this city?

Posted by Doreen at 10:09 am