Monday, June 30, 2008

not again!

Back then, when Dr. M hauled his then DPM to jail for sodomy, I reveled in the scandal.

A very respectable man screwing up - what's not to enjoy right?

Fast forward some 10 years later.

It seems he's going at it again.

Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim, a 60-year old with a back problem, could forcefully make a 20-something year old bend over.

"Diliwat oleh majikan", claimed the young aide (who was really just a coffee boy claimed Anwar).

Come on, where's the originality guys?

Of course I'm still reveling. Much to be unraveled.

Oh Najib and Rosmah, some decoy to divert attention is it?

Posted by Doreen at 2:36 pm

Friday, June 27, 2008

li'l bits

25 divers.

5 days in paradise.

1 destination.

Only 4 days more!

----------------------------

"Why are you wasting your time with Managers and Directors? You need to see decision-makers Doreen. Speak to the owners, speak to the Managing Directors," says the boss.

Sure boss.

You carry a Dato'ship, and have a white man's name.

My card says 'Doreen Loo, Account Manager' and I'm supposed to get an appointment to meet Datuk or Tan Sri so-and-so with just one phone call?

----------------------------

Doing a short film for Wen tomorrow. It's called 'Chicken'.

Fun - yes, I can imagine so! But nervous too, never done anything like this before.

-----------------------------

I hate growing up.

Everyone should just smoke up and chill.

-----------------------------

Fin.

Posted by Doreen at 9:49 am

Thursday, June 26, 2008

golf

He insisted on going for the meeting with me, despite it being MY client.

I found it odd, but thought that since I am selling a new product now, and he's got more experience there, that perhaps he just wanted to help me in securing a deal.

The meeting was due to start at 11, and I told him way ahead of time that should the client ask us out to lunch, we will politely decline as I've got another meeting right after that. He agreed.

During the meeting, he spoke, mostly. I tried butting in, but he would cut me off along the way. I kept my cool. We wrapped up at noon, and the client asked us to join him for lunch. That bastard jumped on it and agreed. Desperation smeared right across his ugly white face.

I went along. There is no way I am going to allow him to have lunch with MY client alone.

All through lunch, he and the client chatted about golf and rugby mostly. I hate golf (hit, walk walk walk, hit again, walk walk walk - where's the fun yo? Sorry Tiger, eventhough I think you're damn hot!). I watch rugby now and then, but never understood it to fully sit through a whole game.

I found out that the client is a diver too, and had just returned from a trip to Tioman. I tried steering the conversation to diving, but he would only steer it back to golf and rugby. Son of a bitch! I was praying fervently for him to choke on his beef curry.

It obviously didn't happen, because he's made plans to play golf with MY CLIENT.

Now what? I need to take up golf in order to sell?

Posted by Doreen at 9:19 am

Monday, June 23, 2008

choices

I was gushing about Johnny Depp.

In my mind, I was already picturing Johnny doing naughty things to me.

"Johnny Depp or me?" he asked.

"Johnny!" I answered confidently.

No time for empathy if you choose to ask stupid questions.

I also told him I wouldn't hesitate jumping on Torres (this is when I thought of Lily's post that got me hot).

We then got into a little discussion about men in sports. I told him F1 drivers don't appeal to me much, but boys on bikes do. And as many hot men as there are on the football field, there are ugly men aplenty too.

In a serious tone he then asked, "Wayne Rooney or Sol Campbell?"

My eyes widened and stared at him in disbelief.

"Fine - Serena or Venus Williams then?"

Posted by Doreen at 8:22 am

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

spidey

I parked at The Gardens Midvalley.

And look who's decided to come on board.

Only realized it when I was on my way. So I pulled aside, and took some shots of spidey clinging onto dear life.

I 'slippered' the bugger off when I reached the office.

Long legs.

Like Gisele.

Posted by Doreen at 3:59 pm

Thursday, June 12, 2008

space cake

A friend just returned from Amsterdam.

He brought back an entire space cake!

We got a decent size chunk of a cake in a styrofoam takeaway box.

It's been sitting in the fridge for 3 days now.

Due to intoxication from other substances in the past couple of nights, I have yet to consume the cake.

I know it probably isn't gonna get me high much, but what the hell man. I'd like to be sober when I eat it, just to see how I feel.

Maybe tonight.

---------------------

And OMG, Scolari at Chelsea!

Shyte.

Posted by Doreen at 9:38 am

Monday, June 09, 2008

f*cker

Coming from Old Klang road this morning, just as I was approaching Midvalley, a grey Proton Wira swerved into my lane from the left side, with absolutely no prior indication that he was going to do so.

I cursed, and honked at him incessantly. In fact, I actually went trigger happy with my honking, cos bastards like them deserved to be honked at.

He stepped on the brakes suddenly, and I did too. I cursed again.

The door swung open, and out came a Malay chap. Let's call him Fuck Face, or FF for short. FF looked like he belonged on a bike, and not in a car.

FF walked towards my window and started banging and punching my window, while screaming a string of expletives. I stared at him, and praying that my window doesn't break and I'll have shards of glass stuck onto my face.

FF was really angry. And I - I was really scared. In fact, I actually cried. Fear, shock, panic.

He went back into his car and drove off. I didn't dare overtake him, in case he tried anything funny. So I followed him from behind, ever so cautiously.

We reached Brickfields, and at the traffic lights in front of the police station, I whipped out my phone and took a picture.

FF must have saw me doing that because he stepped out of his car and came to my window again. He demanded to know if I was taking a photo, and another string of profanities ensued.

I opened my window, just a small crack, so that he could hear me loud and clear. 'Babi gilaaaaa!' I said to FF, before going into the reverse gear and speeding off. Just before I sped off, FF threatened to break my legs.

Turning off to head to Jalan Bangsar, from my rearview mirror, saw him heading straight on along Jalan Tun Sambanthan. Phew.

I went to McD's to buy me an egg McMuffin after that.

Fuck Face in a grey Wira with license plate WJJ 1539, I curse you to a horrible death in your car. Tonight I will write your number plate on a piece of paper and beat you with my wooden clogs.

Posted by Doreen at 11:56 am

Friday, June 06, 2008

laid

The all-girl Sales team decided to wrap up the week with a nice lunch at Planter Jim's in Bangsar.

With an outside back cover and a double page spread booking that came in yesterday, we are all ending the week on a pretty high note.

Over tom yum soup, kangkung belacan and deep fried garoupa drenched in tamarind sauce, we giggled and dared each other to order a cocktail. That of course never materialized. I wouldn't mind a mojito or a long island iced tea actually.

"Ooo, check that one out! So metro!" Karyn cooed.

I looked.

"Are you sure? There's fine line between being metrosexual and gay you know?" I said.

"Very fine line," said Nikki.

Kristine went on to tell us about an ex-boyfriend who had more facial care products than she did, occupying three quarters of the shelf they shared. Good riddance I say.

"But they should learn how to take care of themselves you know? Like what harm is there going for a manicure and a pedicure? They should take care of their feet too," Karyn said.

We continued eyeing the people walking by, men and women alike. Nice rounded ass, defined jaw, perky boobs, strong arms, tight butt, etc. OK, fine, we higlighted many parts of both the male and female anatomy.

The 3 of us were giggling away and we didn't notice Nikki's silence.

Until she said...

"Stop! Stop! Stop! You guys, STOP! I can't listen to this anymore!"

Puzzled. We hushed for a bit and looked at her.

"Dammit, I need to get laid!"

Posted by Doreen at 4:18 pm

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

butterflies: check!

Every year, I get involved in a production with The Oral Stage.

It's like an annual pilgrimage, a Haj of sorts if you wish.

It's the eve of The Opening.

And the butterflies have arrived.

*flutter flutter*

Then I remember something from the last production, Screwed at KLPAC.

It was hours before opening. We were doing warm-ups.

Brana, Rachel and I were comparing butterflies. It didn't help when the aircon was freezing. Someone said butterflies weren't just fluttering by anymore.

They were clawing in our stomachs.

So, eve of The Opening huh?

This is it.

A round of mojitos from La Bodega for the cast before each and every show would be nice.

I think the butterflies will enjoy a mojito. Or two.

-----------------------------

Cops in Seremban are nicely getting high on K.

Sweeeeet.

Posted by Doreen at 11:23 am

Monday, June 02, 2008

weapons

Did you get your ass whooped a lot as a kid?

I did.

I actually thought about this last night and found myself laughing with much amusement.

I hated daddy's leather belts. One whip of that on my backside or thighs would have me branded for the next couple of days. Long, rectangular bruise. Sometimes one, sometimes a few more. Depending on how naughty I was on that day.

Mom used the toilet brush on me once. I pissed her off while she was cleaning the toilet, and so she ran out of the bathroom and hit me with it. The bristles of the brush left me with a rather unique polka-dot knee for a good week.

I was a smart kid during my primary school years. I'd always be in the Top 3 of the class, and being 5th place already meant that I did rather badly. In fifth grade once, I came home and told mom I was in the 25th place out of a class of 45. Mom threw my schoolbag out of the gate and told me that if I didn't want to study, my books should all be gone. I picked up my books and bag with tears streaming down my cheeks. Damn drama I tell you!

The feather duster / cane is common. We got that too. Mom would be chasing us. And I used to love running around the dining table, yes, like literally going round and round the dining table, and mom will be hot on my ass with the cane. Of course I was faster than her. When she cannot get me, in frustration, will throw whatever she can get her hands on.

Mom even had a home-made cane. Her good friend (we call her Auntie Lim) gave her a pot of bamboo once. She skinned a single shoot/stalk and then used that as cane.

On one sticky, hot afternoon many moons ago, mom was as usual, helping me with homework. It was Math if I recall correctly. Numbers and me got off on the wrong foot from the start. On that particular afternoon, mom must be on the verge of yanking her hair out of her head, and the 2B pencil came down on my thighs. The tip of the lead broke under my skin and it stayed there for a few years actually. Then I forgot about it. Looked for it 2 nights ago, disappeared. Either the lead dissolved. Or my flesh, erm, thickened.

Then there was the lidi broom.

Remember this? Well, this weapon taught me about 'strength in numbers'. One lidi stick, easily snapped into half. But bulk them like that, you're in for some serious ass whooping.

We always had an altar at home to pray to our ancestors, and also to the deity Guan Yin. When our mistakes were so grave that only God could help us, mom and dad would make us kneel in front of Guan Yin. My last 'encounter' with Guan Yin was 10 years ago. Mom found cigarettes in my bag.

There were four of us, all girls. But we sure can fight. Oh my god, our fights are N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S. Daph and I were fighting once, probably on the verge of killing each other, so mom decided to lend her assistance. She came out of the kitchen with 2 knives, presented us with it, and told us to yup - you guessed it - kill each other.

True, to some of you these may sound like horror stories. But things were different then. We were seriously naughty! Heh.

Sure, all of us turned out OK. And mom's favourite come back to this would be "If I didn't beat you back then, god knows what you would all become!"

What did you get?