Monday, April 28, 2008


It isn't easy being a man.

Wait, WAIT! Before you girls start pelting me with used tampons, allow me to explain.


My boyfriend is very much the opposite of me. I'm loud and bossy. He's usually shy and reserved. I like to be seen and heard. He likes to keep it low. I use words to express what I'm feeling, be it anger, love, hate, lust, happiness, emo-ness or boredom. He, on the other hand, is not so much of a verbal person. In fact, he could probably go one whole day without uttering a word. If you were to tell me to shut up for a day, I'll probably slit my wrists or something.

Which is good right? (Not me slitting my wrists you dumb dumb!) In a relationship, you gotta have someone talking, and someone listening (or at least pretending to listen).

Now, those 3 little words of "I love you" is not something we say everyday.

I say it out loud to him on special days, or when I really am overwhelmed by emotions, or caught in a moment where I'm staring at him, or something that he's doing, and I realize, my God, I love this guy, and I will tell him so, right there and then.

When it comes to him, I can probably count the number of times he's said that to me in the years we have been going out. The thing is, he doesn't need to. I know he loves me. Because of the things he does for me. Because he has me in his plans. Because.

When he holds my hand tightly, I know he loves me. When he tells me to 'watch my bag', I know he loves me. When he nags at me to eat, I know he loves me. When he gives me his housekeys, I know he loves me. When he smses me to say that it's raining and to drive carefully, I know he loves me. When he takes me out for my late night cravings, I know he loves me. When he changes the channel after I tell him golf is boring, I know he loves me.

But the other day, when we fought, and in the midst of all the fury, I shoved him and said "Do you love me or not, HUH?"

"Of course I do!" he yelled.

"Then how come you never say it to me?" I retorted, jugular-veins-a-popping.

Thing is this - many moons ago, I swore to myself that I will not be the type of girl who ask their boyfriend 'do you love me?'

It's just stupid, OK? And yes, I felt like Paris Hilton after that fight. Not the 'One Night in Paris' feeling unfortunately. The other one.


A friend of mine (in her early 30s) has been happily married for the past 10 years. They enjoyed their DINK (Double-Income-No-Kids) lifestyle for a good 8 years before having the little boy they have now.

Yes, till today, after 10 years of marriage, they are very happy, and still very much in love. On weekends, they still make it a point to do things together as a couple, sans the child. He never goes by a day without saying 'I love you' to her. He says it when he wakes up. He says it when he comes home from work. He says it before going to bed. When he sends her an SMS, he ends it with 'Love you!'.

During one of their arguments, she told him that he wasn't romantic enough.

Needless to say, he retorted by saying that 'If I wasn't romantic, I won't tell you I love you everyday!"

"Yes, that's the thing - your i-love-yous has become like diarrhoea without meaning cos you use it so often!"

Like me, she too, once upon a time swore to herself that such stupidity should not be allowed.


To all the men in the world - thank you for putting up with us.

To the boyfriend - I'm sorry :(

Posted by Doreen at 2:12 pm