Friday, October 26, 2007


My parents recently had their wills written.

During my recent trip back home, they told me about the contents of the will. "Everything is divided equally between the 4 of you," said dad.

A lump formed in my throat.

"For my will, you and mom are listed as the executors. For her's, we will both be the executors," added dad.

I tried hard to swallow.

They have been wanting to draw up their respective wills for a while now, and eventually got around doing it. Dad admitted his paranoia the last few times he travelled by plane, thinking about the will that was yet to be written.

"At least now I don't have to worry when I fly anymore! Domestic air travel within Indonesia scares me!" he admitted.

I dread thinking about that day when that document will have to be retrieved from the safe box at the bank. I dread thinking about the day when they will no longer be with us.

But. What I dread the most makes me feel almost guilty. I dread thinking of them gone because I am selfish.

Selfish because I don't want to have to deal with it - I wouldn't know where to start, or what I should be doing first. Selfish because I don't want to have to deal with that stress. Selfish because I am the eldest of four, and I know a lot will have to rest on my shoulders, the decision making and whatnot. Selfish because I cannot imagine what it will be like without them - where do I turn to for help and advice?

I wish they will be with us forever, and ever, and ever, and ever.....

I know.


Posted by Doreen at 11:07 am