Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Old Woman

In my late teens, I'd read CLEOs and Cosmopolitans and PMS was and still is a favourite topic in these mags. The same story on PMS could be recycled and recycled, all attacking PMS on various angles - what is it? How to alleviate the pain? Do chocolates curb PMS irritability? You name it, chances are it's been written about.

The fact that the severity of PMS, including the symptoms, varies from one woman to the other made it all the more baffling, and as a growing girl, I wanted as much info as possible, and somewhere along the lines, I might have gotten disillusioned about my symptoms - was it there or not - because I wanted to be normal, like the example in Cosmo.

So I read about the tenderness in breasts, and my hands automatically flew to my own pair to examine. Soft or not? Erm. Not quite sure?

And then I read about the cravings- anything from chocolates to sushi to fried cempedak - did I have such cravings? They all sound pretty damn delicious to me any time of the month, no need to wait for cravings to have them right?

Temper? OK, I admit to having use this temper and PMS thing as an excuse more than once when I flare up over something trivial. So? Sue me.

See, I used to read about these symptoms and then start to wonder if I go through them before the start of my menstruation cycle, and I never could quite pin-point it as it is.

Anyways - thing is this - if I was perhaps disillusioned about my symptoms in my late teens, I have noticed that the symptoms have become more noticeable and more severe as I grow older, and this sucks.

Then I hit mid-20s, and all the damn symptoms are yelling and blaring their horns in my face. Dammit.

In my recent bout of PMS...

Breast-tenderness and swelling? Check. Yes, I quite enjoy the fact that for about 2 weeks in a month, my boobs look bigger than usual. But I don't know if the plus factor can outweigh the pain that comes with the tenderness. I cannot wipe my chest dry after shower but rather pat it dry cos it hurts.

Mood swings? Check. Speak to the boyfriend for more information.

Bloating? Check. My jeans felt super tight - as though just washed, when in actual fact, the last wash was about 8 wears ago.

Migraines? Check. A huge serving of it too mind you! It was just there, pounding and pouding at the back of my head. Painkillers? I think I should stop popping them as though they're Happy 5s. So this time round, I just tahan the pain lah. I almost carved the walls with my nails.

Lower back pain? Check. Ah, this is actually quite new to me too. I've only been experiencing it in the last 3-4 months. This pain sucks. I actually feel old and can envision my bones creaking with each step I take.

Being a woman is hard as it is.

But being an ageing woman is even harder.

Dear me.

Posted by Doreen at 12:55 pm