Tuesday, August 24, 2004

To feel like cow dung

At the end of the day, I'm a simple girl who holds on to the core family and traditional values that I've been brought up with. On the exterior, many may beg to differ, cos really, who gives a rat's ass about what you have inside you in this day and age?

What makes someone think that he's the God of Love and women are just licking his toes and waiting to be taken to bed?

In the hour that I was tossing and turning in bed before eventually falling asleep, I kept thinking, "Was it my fault? Could I have led him on?" I didn't come up with a valid and concrete reason for me to think so. All I merely did was to play innocent in hopes that he'll get the hint, but no, I think he's sick. Maybe acting innocent turns him on?

What more when he offered me on the plate to his business partner Mike? I felt downright disgusted, humiliated, embarassed - you name it. You should have seen the look on Mike's face when Richard "indicated" that he was willing to share.

Hello? Were you both just talking about me? I believe I was seated right across the table from you then. Am I invisible? Or do you think that you both are God's gift to women and that we are merely objects at your disposal? Screw you both.

Did you see his look when he asked me how I was doing and if I've been upto any mischief? I ignored him.

I wore my jeans with that white long white top. "Let's not wear something too exposed when meeting with Richard," I thought to myself when getting dressed. Yet he still found something to comment on.

"Is that a top of a dress that you're wearing Doreen?"

"A top," was my curt reply.

"Maybe you should drop the jeans and wear the top on its own," he said.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.

After his put up his business proposal to me regarding the futsal event, I asked him what's in it for me if I manage to get my client to agree to your futsal event? Here I was obviously talking about monetary benefits. But no, that dick of a head, "Where and when do you want to claim it? Now? Upstairs on that couch? In the toilet? Or would you prefer my car?" Mike laughed. Loud.

All the way home, I cried and cried. Don't ask me why, maybe it's the night's events, maybe it's just hormonal imbalance causing me to cry over this. All I really needed was someone to tell me that I'm not at fault, that I didn't try to lead these two men on.

I could have just walked off. But I didn't. I could have stood up and gave them both a piece of my mind. But I didn't.

I feel like cow dung.

Posted by Doreen at 9:43 am