Monday, April 16, 2007


Parents are not stupid. Well, at least my parents aren't.

They probably know that I am still smoking, but just gave up lecturing me now. They were dead against it years ago, when they found the pack of Marlboro in my bag. Health reasons obviously topped the reasons of why I shouldn't be smoking. Second would be tradition - girls and smoking - what family would want you now? And finally, the fact that I'm using their money to support my addiction.

I told them I'd quit. Maybe they believed I quit. Maybe not. But whatever it is, they should believe that I am old enough to decide whether or not I want to infuse my lungs with black gooey substance. And plus, I'm burning my own money now.

When I go home, I don't smoke. Each trip back home usually lasts at least 3-4 days, and I'd go without nicotine. The withdrawals? Hell yeah! My nose leaks like a faucet and I'm sleepy all the time. By the second day, I'm usually good. Which makes me think that I really ought to quit. If my withdrawals only last 2 days, it shouldn't be too hard. Yeah, I really should.

I'm making a big detour. Back to my original plot - Smoking is one example. Sex is another.

Mom and Dad know that me and the boyfriend are partially living together, and I'm pretty damn sure they know that abstinence is not something we practice. I mean, I don't literally spell it out to them that me and the boyfriend share a room, but from the things I tell them, they are able to paint their own picture and thus draw their own conclusions. See? They are smart like that.

I know, I know. The whole issue of tradition and religion and how sex should be sacred and not something to be taken lightly. I'm not saying that sex before marriage is good or bad. I'm saying it's a personal choice.

But my parents are cool you see. I don't spell it out, so they play smart as well. They know they can't stop what we do outside, but the least I can do is to make sure I take good care of myself. But just because they know that I'm doing the horizontal tango with the boyfriend don't mean I leave boxes of contraceptive pills lying around where they might find it. We also don't chat about condoms and me gushing about how I prefer them studded. Nor do I show up at their doorstep with a huge hickey on my neck. And one day, if the boyfriend were to travel with me back to visit my parents, I'd see that he sleeps in the guest room of our house.

Here I stop. I read and re-read what I've written above and I want a conclusion. But I can't seem to put to words what I really want to say as a conclusion, or what is the point of this whole entry.

Can I say that my actions are such merely out of respect for them, for the boundaries they have set?


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Posted by Doreen at 4:35 pm