Friday, April 06, 2007


I'm a late bloomer. That's what my friends tell me.

But I'm getting there.

While university mates and peers job hop frequently, I merely eye them in envy as their paycheck takes another major leap, while mine is a slow and steady increase.

It's been almost 5 years since I graduated and returned to Malaysia. And well, almost 5 years since I'm on this job. I was 21. Armed with tertiary education, I thought the world was mine. Then I found out that there were so many unemployed graduates out there, all vying for the same job. I still remember my interview and subsequently my first day at work, vividly. It was rather scary, but at the same time, mighty thrilling.

How the years have passed.

How I've changed.

How I've learnt.

How I've experienced.

It's been one helluva ride!

There were times when I cried, when stress and pressure from work mounted. I'd usually cry at night when I'm in bed, nestled in bed, pillows over my face so I can bawl my eyes out without waking the rest of the house. Sometimes I'd call mom from the office and rant and cry (out of sight and earshot of course), and she'd say nice, soothing words, and I could almost always feel myself resting on her bosom, with her arms around me. Mothers are such gem.

On most days, I'm one happy girl going about her tasks at work. Sure, you might have heard me bitch about certain things, but hey, who doesn't bitch right? I guess me actually enjoying what I do has helped a lot. I've laughed plenty over the years here. I've met some great, great people who will be lifelong friends.

I remembered the first event I managed. I went 36 hours without a wink of sleep, and eventually collapsed under the stage for a quick cat nap. At the end of the 2-day event, I couldn't feel my legs.

I remembered a presentation I delivered to a group of about 30 top guns from various private education institutions, and my CEO who was also present during that presentation, gave me a pat on my back and commended me for the excellent presentation / public speaking skills.

I remembered the "dark" period of a few months, when I was under this Manager... who made me feel insignificant, small and useless. Thank God I was transferred soon after.

I remembered one event where the backdrop collapsed and it was about 3 hours before guests started arriving. The prop-maker tasted the wrath of our fury.

I remembered the late night at the studio, filming a TVC with a a Taiwanese teeny-bopper, and it was so cold that my nails turned blue. We stuffed our faces with Ramly burger after that.

I remembered the promotion which was, I felt, long overdue. But they surprised me with a Managerial position instead of the Assistant Manager designation.

I remembered slamming the door in someone's face once. He was a pain in the butt, arrogant, bossy (when I do not even report to him!) and worse of all - pockmarked. He lodged a complain against me, and HR gave me a warning. Remorse? You gotta be kidding me. That bastard deserved it.

I remembered spending many hours brooding over whether I'll been a good manager to my colleagues at work. Will I stand up for them? Will I try and help them when they have a problem? Will I try and teach them all I can and guide them in their works? Will I be fair? Will I be wise? And most importantly - to me at least - will I be their friend and not boss over them in a way they would not like?

I remembered the proud feeling of achievement every single time we wrap up an event. Feet aching, backs sore, eyes half-closed, and brain drained. But still feeling damn proud of ourselves.

I remembered the horrible people I've met along the way, and how I constantly remind myself to not be like them.

I remembered office politics, and witnessing the rise and fall of people.

5 years. I remember a lot.

But the time has come. It took me a long time to act upon it. It took me a long time to gather my courage to hand the letter to my boss. But I did. Glad I did.

It will be my first ever job hop. At 26. Now you see why they call me a late bloomer? And because it's my first change, I kinda feel it's gonna be like first day at work all over again. First day 5 years ago.

But it's time.


Posted by Doreen at 1:18 pm