Tuesday, March 25, 2008

dog trauma

It must have been about 3:00am when the cab pulled up at No. 103 and I staggered out sleepily. I don't really remember where I went, but if memory serves me right, I was hanging out with Ken.

I rented a room at No. 103 where a young Chinese family lived. Husband and wife, along with 3 small kids. Oh, they also had 2 dogs.

Bulldogs actually.

Chorus: Awwww. Sooooo cuteeeeeee!

Yes, that crumpled pile of skin looks damn cute. But the dogs at 103 looked nothing like that. They looked like this...


I remembered enquiring and found out that the dogs were a male-female pair. Mother and son in fact. They didn't look very friendly. When they are not growling at god knows what, they laze in that filthy corner, accompanied by some buzzing flies. Damn, did I mention that godawful pong?

So back to my story.

I got out of the cab and fumbled for my keys. In the dark of the night, I noticed the dogs were not asleep, and holy cow! When did the third dog arrive? Is it even legal to have THREE dogs, THIS size, THIS smelly, all in ONE single residential house?

I inserted the key into the padlock which secured the gate, and with this, Mama BullDog rushed to the front of the gate and started growling at me. Disgusted as I was, I tried pacifying her with some "Hush-hush-koochi-koochi".

Nuh-uh. She continued growling and staring at me.

Padlock off, and I started unlatching the gate. I was scared now! I remembered that animals can sense your fear, and they get scared and defensive too! Calming myself down, I opened the gate ever so slowly.... Mama BullDog took a step forward and growled, louder and fiercer this time.

Oi, bitch! I live here, remember?

She continued her guard at the gate, eyeing me in that come-another-step-imma-pounce-on-you-stare.

Then I saw them going at it, doggy-style obviously. A-ha! Turns out Mama BullDog was keeping watch while her son was shagging the new bitch! Geez, I didn't know bulldogs were so protective of their offspring when they are copulating!

I stood by the gate, not knowing what to do. Wondered if I should call my landlord, but decided against it, seeing how it was afterall, 3am in the morning. I must have attempted entering the house another once or twice, but the shagging continued, and so did the growling.

Not wanting to be supper for 1 angry bulldog and 2 post-orgasmic (and presumably hungry) bulldogs, I locked the gates and called for a cab. I ended up spending a few more hours at Ken's and going to College the next morning.

I have never been so traumatised by dogs like I did that night.

A couple of nights ago, it happened again. Which part you ask?

Dogs, growling, shagging, extreme fear - in that order!

I went to the boyfriend's place, and parked my car where I usually do, in the alley at the side of the house. Just as I was about to step out of the car, there were about 3 or 4 dogs (I can't be sure - the alley was dark) circling the area, and the growling sounded REAL close by.

OK, these were stray dogs mind you. I mean, they could have rabbies or something!

I closed the door and put my head out of the window, straining to see if the coast is clear. Further into the alley, I spotted some doggy-style action happening, and yes, there were "guards" around, protecting the scared act of procreation, which their friends were indulging in.

Dammit. The bulldog-trauma came flooding back and I cringed in my seat.

Suffice to say, I had the boyfriend come rescue me from my car parked in the alley.

Posted by Doreen at 9:01 am