Thursday, February 28, 2008

in my car

Good evening.

Welcome to a special edition of ‘An Hour in My Car During Rush Hour Traffic’!

Today we are going to be exploring the items found in Doreen’s car which will tell us a little bit more about this gorgeous babe.

A mirror ball dangling from the rearview mirror indicates that she is someone who thinks a lot, engaging in plenty of self-reflection. Oh, don’t be mistaken, when I mean thinking, it’s more daydreaming really. Her fancy for the mirror element means that she has a vain streak. Then again, you already know that.

Wearing flip flops while driving tells us that Doreen is someone who is laid back and prefers being in a casual environment. Despite looking commandingly sexy when in a suit and killer heels with her hair all bunned up, she feels most at home in jeans, tee, flip flops and letting her hair down.

Liquid foundation is usually the first (or second if you count moisturiser as first) thing you apply when you do your make-up. Having a bottle of this sitting in her car indicates laziness. She sleeps in till the very last minute, showers, get dressed and she's out the door, without having time to doll her face. I bet you, her moisturiser is in that big tote of hers.

You probably think that these are 3 very different objects / species, but Doreen thinks otherwise. To her, these 3 are family - Papa Koala, Mama Cube and Baby Dolphin. From this, you can tell that Doreen places the family unit high up on a pedestal and she draws a lot of support, encouragement and strength from her own immediate family members.

Again, here we find an item of accessory dangling from an easily accesible place. This further reiterates her 'last-minute' habit. Besides, this flower-and-bead bracelet looks pretty with anything, and jazzing up a boring outfit can be done just moments before stepping out of her car for drinks at the pub after work.

By having her phones out of her bag during her drive shows us that she is one who is able to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel. When caught in a traffic snarl, Doreen blasts her radio and sings along loudly to entertain herself. Sometimes, she can even be caught dancing, much to the amusement of other road users. Okay, so she can be quite deaf too, often not hearing her phone ring when it is caught under all the rubbish in her bag.

A-ha! This is something which all Malaysian drivers should learn from Doreen! She clearly cares for the cleanliness of the city and is on the whole, concerned about the environment. Be it used tissue paper or Clean & Clear oil absorbing sheets, it all goes into a little pouch which she uses as her mini trash can.

A messy back seat - you can see here that she has in her backseat her briefcase, an item of clothing and shades for the car, all stashed on the chair. This indicates that she is not adventurous sexually and prefers to keep it within the four walls of her bedroom. Doreen should learn to not be so 'square' and to try explore some back-seat-lovin' once in a while.

Posted by Doreen at 8:09 pm


Monday, February 25, 2008


2 months into 2008.

I am, once again, bowled over by the fact that time flies. Like a rocket. 5 more of these '2 months' and we will soon be bidding adieu to 2008. Brrr. Scary.

Wasn't it just yesterday that I was lamenting my entry into auntie-hood when I declared that my new year’s eve will be spent in a hushed manner – no plans, just couching it out in front of the tele.

What did you get up to in the last 2 months?

Me? I'm officially an auntie.

Yes, today I will be speaking on the dreaded auntie-dom.

Case 1.

I came home one sunny evening and decided that a few laps at the pool downstairs would do me good. I bundled up my hair haphazardly, put an oversized and faded tee over my swimwear and anticipated the feel good factor of splashing about in cool water.

Much to my dismay, I found 3 pimple-infested boys in the pool. Their white shirts and moss green trousers tossed on the floor nearby and they were throwing a coconut husk about like a piece of Frisbee.

Then I heard it. Amidst their giggles and hushed whispers, I heard it loud and clear.

"Careful, don't throw at the auntie!" said Fat Pimple Face in Cantonese.

Beaten and defeated, I lowered myself into the water, did my laps and left soon after.

Case 2.

It was well past the 1am on a Friday night when I got the SMS from an old university mate asking about some 'current' issues (that's story for another day). After a few messages exchanged back and forth, Ken told me that he's at the Atrium, and for me to join him if I wanted to.

I stated the obvious – it being late, and that I'm getting ready for bed.

He replied with "Good night Auntie Loo!"

That night, I had a nightmare about a battalion of aunties; all clad in their batik baggy housecoats, running after me around the Taman.

And then of course, there's the odd couple of times where mothers will refer to me as 'auntie' to their children when I bump into them in elevators, at the supermarket cashier, etc.

Yes, I admit I'm no longer the nubile 18 years old. But fuck that man. I'm 27 years old, and I think I still look damn cute. And in no way am I gonna accept being labelled an 'auntie'.

I mean, look at me.


Damn you people.

Posted by Doreen at 9:49 pm


Friday, February 22, 2008

here n now


I'm back.

I missed you as much as you missed me.

Maybe more.

Posted by Doreen at 7:38 pm


Thursday, February 07, 2008

breathe: underwater

"Geaaarrrgghhh!" as I surfaced from a meek 3 feet of water, gasping for air.

Which was rather ironic actually, because the mouth-piece on the regulator was supposed to provide me with the ability to breathe underwater.

"I just cannot clear my damn mask," I whined pathetically as the instructor too surfaced from the water as I wasn't showing any signs of going back in.

The pounding in my head was getting louder by the second, and as the boyfriend emerged from underwater with a glee on his face, I knew he'd done it. Clear a partially flooded mask while underwater. I felt a tinge of envy.

And that little poke of envy pushed me (yes, I'm trying to ignore headache) and I declared I'll give it another go.

I donned the mask on, stuck the regulator back in my mouth and went underwater. Using my fingers, I peeled a little bit of the mask off and water gushed in and I stopped when the level was halfway. Took a deep breath of air from the regulator, tilted my head backwards and tried to empty the water from the mask by exhaling through my nose, and almost instantaneously, surfaced from underwater again.

The pounding in my head was unbearable, my eyes grew dim (eh, which song is this from ah?) and I got out from the pool.

Sitting on the bench, I watched the boyfriend and the instructor proceed with the next set of techniques. I refuse to believe that I was fucking up my very first confined water dive. After a coupla minutes, and proper breathing on good old land, the headache subsided. Turns out I was hyperventilating; oxygen didn't reach my brain.

That was that.

I went into the water and tried it again, and managed to clear my mask alright. In the second pool dive the week after, I was so into mask clearing I kept having a go at it the moment my mask showed the slightest sign of fogging up.

Scuba lessons have been WAY fun.

Fin pivot was also damn cekap. It basically is about controlling your inhale and exhale of air, enabling your body to hover upwards and downwards with the tip of the fins touching the ground.

I really do not know how else to express how awesome scuba diving is except to say that I know that when I do my first open water dive come April, that I will not look back, and picking up scuba diving will be one of the best decisions I've made in my life.


Gong Xi Fatt Chai to all :) Money come, bad luck go.

Posted by Doreen at 3:46 pm