Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Delusional
Still sore from the incident this morning. I typed and typed, my entry was long and juicy, and then all of a sudden, KAPUT, a blackout in my office. For that mere 2 seconds as I sat in the darkness, I cursed and swore.Dammmit. But oh well, shit happens.
I lost "that moment" I had when I came into the office early this morning. I was full of ideas, thoughts, and feelings that I wanna write about.. But it's gone now.
So I had have lunch with R and his business associate, we were all there to discuss on some possible business ventures, and his latest project might come in handy with me being in advertising and events.
As I was telling a friend... How can you hate someone, be utterly disgusted with what they've done, and yet still sort of wonder what they look like with the shirt off? Or even that tingling feeling up my spine as fingers or arms brush against one another?
And did I mention his gaze? When he talks to me, eventhough it's about something serious, the way he rests his eyes on me, the way he looks at me while talking - it gets me.. erm, flustered.
How can you explain this?
As I drove out of the parking lot of the mall, I cursed myself for being so vulnerable! How can a stupid brush or arms or a gaze as he talks to you cause you to lose control? OK, so I didn't exactly lose control per se. It's more like my mind losing control. Thank goodness my actions didn't cooperate with the thoughts in my head.
Tis OK, I think I'll catch up with Al tonight. Maybe he can provide me some sanity and bring me back down to earth and to help me stop being so delusional.
Posted by Doreen at 3:38 pm
