Friday, June 25, 2004
Visually Yours...
This article is by Jennifer Tai who writes for the MSN Women's Channel.------------------------------------------------------------------
I stumbled upon a rather interesting article, or someone would call it a book, like the author, on the Net today. Outrageously entitled "How to get the women you desire into bed" by one Ross Jeffries from California, this book is subtitled a 'down and dirty guide to dating and seduction for the man who's fed up with being Mr Nice Guy'.
Apparently, this guy is quite well known for his 'speed seduction' techniques.
Suitably intrigued, I proceeded to read the first two chapters of the book (the whole thing is online here). Now I must warn you that this material is not your average self-help book. Mr. Jeffries here is one bitter man who's clearly sick of being overshadowed by his good-looking friends AND he's made it clear here that THAT is not the only reason, without mincing his words (which is probably why this book is published online?).
What's surprising is that I do agree with SOME of his observations, one of which is that most women (and by that, most of my friends even) expect men to play by a certain set of rules, while they feel free to do whatever they want. Says Jeffries, quite rightly,
"For example, lots of women are more than happy to spend your money and time, and generally lead you on, letting you think you have a reward (sexual) coming. They talk about sex on the date, touch you a lot, and ACT very seductive. Then when you make a pass, they freak out and scream about what animals men are, how we're only after one thing. Then when you make a pass, they freak out and scream about what animals men are, how we're only after one thing. Or they let you have it with that famous line "I'm just not attracted to you.""
Blunt, but quite accurate, wouldn't you say? Also true to a certain extent is this:
"When it comes to sex, women have a massive power advantage. It's relatively easy for even a fat, ugly troll to obtain sexual satisfaction. All she has to do is go to any bar or club, act even mildly flirtatious, and be willing to put out. She's sure to get laid, if not by the best looking guy, then at least by someone. It's much harder for even a decent looking guy to get satisfaction, sexually. FOR GUYS, GETTING LAID IS A CHORE. FOR WOMEN, GETTING LAID IS A CHOICE".
Now I never really thought about it this way, but when I digested this paragraph, I must say that Jeffries, despite the obviously deep-seeded angst, is right on the money. I mean, when I was in college, I had a formerly fat friend with skin problems (she's gorgeous now) who only had to go to a bar and in under two hours, she would be walking out with some guy.
Compare this to my guy friend D, who's a little plump and odd-looking (looks 40 when he's really just 30), quite a successful businessman in his own right although he does come from a well-to-do family, who has to resort to 'conning' women into talking to him on IRC and then have tell him "aw, you're a brother to me" or simply stop chatting with him when they finally see his picture.
In short, within the first hour of a casual meeting, women are VERY judgmental when it comes to looks, EVEN when it's just for casual sex. We say that men are visual creatures but give a horny, average-looking man a woman who's willing to sleep with him, and he's game. But ask a woman who's allegedly looking for a one-night stand if she'd sleep with a sweaty, balding guy, even if it's just for seven minutes?
So the next time we women want to complain about how men are shallow and only want one thing, perhaps we should remember that we too, are not entirely blameless. Perhaps then we can learn to appreciate a guy for what he truly is - sweaty, bald-head and all.
JENNIFER TAI WRITES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND FIRST-TIME MOTHERHOOD ON MSN.COM.MY'S WOMEN'S CHANNEL EVERY WEEK. SHE WELCOMES MAILS AT JENN@JENNEMEDE.COM AND DISCUSSIONS AT MSN.COM.MY'S WOMEN COMMUNITY BOARDS.
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Isn't she just brilliant? :)
Posted by Doreen at 4:43 pm
