Wednesday, September 01, 2004
"What drives this hearty urge to tattle? Anthropologists, sociologists, psychologists have taken their turns with gossip. Is it a form of social control, some ask? Does fear of gossip keep people in line? The subjects of gossip can, after all, find themselves ridiculed, castigated or even exiled in some societies. Gossip can be a means of indirect aggression. It can serve to pass on bad news to a 'victim' whom we do not want to address directly.
Is gossip merely satisfying our morbid curiosity? Are we just looking for a good story? Gossip does allow us to make downward comparisons. When we talk about someone else's scandal or misfortune, we may feel better about our own circumstances. It can reinforce our own values and opinions. Researchers find that we tend to pass on those stories that are consistent with our views of particular people and their relationships
More important, perhaps, is the thrill of disclosure, the opportunity to be the first person to tell. The right bit of gossip can launch us into the centre of attention. Information is power. Gossip can feed into a competitive drive to enhance our status. It can bring us validation. We are in control as we enrapture an audience and trigger their emotions. Gossip is a powerful means to bonding. As we exchange 'stolen gifts' we reinforce our trust in each other. 'I can tell you.' Being 'in the know' can signal that we are in the clique, that we are one of a privileged few."
I'm not gonna deny that I don't gossip - I love gossiping! Especially those juicy ones regarding who's dating who and who's sleeping with who! HAHA. Hey c'mon, I'm only human.
So last night I got a tad bit upset. A colleague from work told me that someone told her they heard from others stories about me. Apparently, I'm not the nice girl I once was when I first started work here at this company. The story is "These days Doreen is not as helpful and cooperative as she was before".
Actually I don't deny that. After two years, you'd think I've learnt the ropes to survival don't you? You'd think that I would be more savvy and not allow people take advantage of me huh? Damn right!
In an organisation of about 300 staff, I'd have to select who to be helpful and cooperative to right? It IS a dog-eat-dog-world afterall. Sure I'll help you IF I have the time and resources to do so. Sure I'll definitely help you even more if I want to get into your good books. Sure I'll help you all the more if you determine my career advancement in this company.
But at the end of the day, I know that my conscience is clear. Plus, how can I satisfy everyone? There'll be some who think I'm great gal and then there'll be some who can't wait to beat the shit outta me.
True, I was a little bit upset when I heard about it last night. I kept thinking, "Oh no! How can people not like me?" I mean, everyone wants to be accepted right? So anyway, I did give it a thought. Whether driven by malice, envy or something else, gossip is inevitable anywhere.
On the other hand - Maybe there is a reason for them to start spreading gossip about me. Maybe I pose as a threat? HAHAHAH. Who knows? Their fears could be justified cos I'm good at what I do *laughs doubly hard*
Therefore, I'll resort to remain absolutely professional and pleasant. I shalt fight the urge to reduce them to poop because it will only make them more defensive. Then again, I don't know who started this gossip.
So what the hell.
Posted by Doreen at 4:47 pm