Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Cry Baby

Mom read my Mother's Day posting, thanks to Serene. In an SMS to me, she said:

"Thanks 4 de long mum's day letter. Cried as I was reading. Tears of joy. Happy tt u still appreciate wat we've done. Brought back memories, like still fresh. Want to let u noe re ur convo, at tt time, ur 3 sisters studyin in Sg, back and forth Sg-JB daily, w/ends packed wit xtra tuitions, jz couldn't be away. Those 5 years we din even haf time 4 ourself. Sorry la. Now all independent alr. Dad knows I luv 2 c Europe, tt's why planning it 2gether with Elaine's convo. Sorry lah. We luv all 4 da same".

I returned her SMS with a short reply:

"Yes mi. Just 2 let u noe, sometimes we end up doing silly things. It may seem like we will nvr grow up, but believe me, we all do. Some just slower than others. Hv a good day!"

I must be PMSing big time since I've been ultra emotional for the past couple of days. I cried when I wrote the Mother's Day entry on Monday. On Tuesday me and second sis were shouting at each other over the phone and I cried again. Worse, I was in the office. Thank goodness for my own room. In between heavy sobs, and eventhough my speech was barely audible, I called mom to let her know that me and sis fought. And now, an SMS with about 400 characters bring tears to my eyes yet again.

I used to hate crying. I used to be stronger. I used to be much tougher. Not to say I didn't shed a single tear back then, but I would only cry with my face buried in the pillow. But these days, I cry openly. Those damn tears just flow freely down my cheeks.

These days, even movies can make me cry! Back when I was younger, I thought that crying over a scene out of a movie would deem me a wuss. It could be a heart-wrenching scene, but those tears just had to be contained - tilting my head backwards and sniffing it all back in. No crying in public!

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Psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors all recommend crying as a form of releasing pent up emotions. Tears help maintain sanity. It's got to be a yin and yang - being happy and being sad. Many also believe that if you do not release your tensions and emotions by crying when you ought to, these pent up psychological tensions would find another outlet, like causing physical pains on the human body.

Me being able to cry so openly and so freely these days probably indicates some sort of maturity. I'm way comfortable in my own skin and flesh, and in no way will crying make me a wuss. Crying is normal, crying is good, crying is therapeutic.

Hah! Now shoo! Go bawl your eyes out!

Posted by Doreen at 9:43 am