Tuesday, May 09, 2006

My Place or Yours?

"So I wake you up at 6:30 tomorrow OK?"

"Err.. OK lah, damn sien the thought of waking up for work tomorrow"

"Aiya.. work is work right babe? ... So, when the alarm goes off and the F.I.R rock song comes on, you can't hear a thing?"

"No wor, dead to the world lah girl"

"Like that if got fire means you'll be the first one dead lah!"

"I can feel the heat whaaaat!"

"Too late lor by then! You'll be burnt to death! So how are you going to wake up when you eventually stay alone?"

"That's why I will have you live with me. 1, 3 and 5 you stay over my place. 2 and 4, I stay over at yours. Then weekends, ah.. weekends we sleep in late anyway, so nevermind lah!" '

"You mean you are asking me to move in so that I can be your alarm clock?"

"No laaaah. Silly woman!" *and then snuggled in closer*

Typically, this would sound like girlfriend exploitation. You know, the sole purpose of getting me to stay with him is to be his alarm clock. But no. Coming from the boyfriend who's not very expressive and not very good with saying what's on his mind, this actually is good news.

In fact, this is the second time he's brought the issue up - living together that is. The first went somwhere along the lines of "What do you mean I don't care? Do you know I even had plans for us to move in together when I get the house to myself?" No points for guessing that we were in the midst of an argument then. Anyways.

Cohabiting, couples living together without being legally married, is no longer novel in today's society. Of course, there are plenty of debates surrounding this topic, the pros and cons of living together before marriage.

"One boy one girl stay together, people will talk one leh!" I can already hear mom saying. "What will people think?" would probably follow suit.

An older and wiser girlfriend will say, "You shouldn't move in with him yet. It will have you both taking things for granted, and not working towards bringing the relationship to the next stage," she would advise.

"NEVER MOVE IN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND! It is he who will reap the benefits. Once you move in, you take over as "wife" and thus the rest of his household chores. You clean, sweep, mop, cook, wash and everything! And when you guys break up and you walk out of the house, you don't receive a single cent of alimony!" said another girlfriend.

A male friend will say to me, "OK what. It sorta give couples an opportunity to live under the same roof first, get used to each other's nasty habits before actually committing in a marriage. Kinda like testing the product before buying it - that same concept" said he. "You know, at some point, you girls will just have to get used to us men not putting the toilet seat back down you know?"

(Honest side note: I am actually very proud of the boyfriend. Whenever he takes a piss, he lifts the toilet seat up. When he's done, he places it back down. OK, I can hear your envy already... "Wah, you train him so well ah?" - But of course!)

"When you think about it, having a man around the house is quite useful you know? Blocked sink? Get him to fix it. Toilet flush faulty? Get him to fix it. Change a light bulb? Get him to fix it. And all other tasks which requires climbing the ladder, handling the screwdriver, hammer or nuts and bolts, get him to fix it it all!", exclaimed another male friend.

I am actually quite keen on couples cohabiting before marriage, instead of having to say "You mean you don't brush your teeth before bedtime?" on the first night. Of course I also believe that along the way, you will get so used to each other that things will be taken for granted, and somehow the relationship will just stay stagnant. What's the point of getting married if you are already living together right? But hey, there's no such thing as magic. You want something to work, you put in effort. Right?

Nevertheless, cohabiting DOES kinda scare me in some ways. Heck, it's a completely new phase in the relationship! But I think our arrangement would be a good start in allevating my fears (perhaps OUR fears?). Each of us still maintain our own residency, and we merely take turns in going to each other's place for a few days.

At least I will still have a place to run off to when we end up arguing!

Posted by Doreen at 2:45 pm