Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Ain't Easy Being Me

During cigarette break with a colleague today...

Me: Damn. I'm turning a quarter of a century old in less than a month time! Oh no... *drags on ciggie harder*
Her: I'm turning 35, so shut up.

I heard it goes downhill from here on.. so help me God.

Let's rewind a little bit. When I was younger (ahem, it wasn't THAT long ago, OK?), say about 10 years ago (OK, maybe it IS rather long ago), I never expected 25 to be like this... (off the top of my head)

Being addicted to nicotine
Damn this is bad isn't it? Year after year, with the increment in sin taxes announced during the annual budget, I groan when it comes to tobacco taxes. I started smoking when cigarettes were going for RM3.60 for a pack of 20s. After a few increment over the years, a pack of 20s now cost me 7 freaking bucks! With every year, I tell myself, "If the price goes up this year, I'm gonna quit!" But of course, it never worked out. Let's see what's in store this year. But I've cut down plenty! Of that I'm proud of.

Feeling old
Really, I do. I guess coming out to live on my own at a tender age of 16 resulted in me "seeing the world" at a much younger age. Of course, "seeing the world" at 16 was all about meeting boys, parties and getting sloshed every other night. If I could drink 2 jugs of beer at 16, I would be able to whack some 10 jugs when I'm 25 right? But no. I started at 2, it escalated and reached its peak.. but at 25, I'm back at 2 jugs of beer. But after many, many, many years of drinking, raving, partying, at 25, things are definitely slowing down. A lot. Of course, 10 years ago, I thought being in my twenties would mean me being in my prime - a string of men at my heels, dressing up and going out every night after work. But what I'm really doing now is staying in clad in loose and baggy clothing, watching TV and assuring myself that one man in my life is better than a string of them at my heels.

Financially insecure
I'm flat-broke at the end of every month with no savings whatsoever. What else is there to talk about? But every cloud has a silver lining. Sometimes I am secretly thankful that I'm not born a male. OK, so all that rubbish about empowering women, and that we don't need to depend on men blah blah blah. But, imagine, if I was born with a schlong, I would have to start planning about the future, and seriously too! Male friends in their mid or late 20s have to fret about their savings because no woman would want to marry a broke man. When I was younger, I could not wait for the day when I'd be making my own money. I'd dream about all the things I can do with my own money, the clothes and shoes, the bags, the make-up, the cocktails at posh lounges. In reality? A chunk of my pay goes to the car, another chunk goes to rent, another chunk goes to settling monthly telephone, credit card and other bills... and then I'm left with peanuts.

Never been on a train
OK, I'm not talking about your intercity LRT and Monorail! I mean those choo-choo train that takes you further? Err, I don't know, Singapore? Heh. So I've never been on a REAL train and never heard it choo and chug away. Are there any deprived 25 year olds (or older) who have never been on a real train like me?

Oh well. I guess this is enough bad news for a day.

Damn. It ain't easy being 25!

Posted by Doreen at 5:25 pm