Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Looking Back On The Year That Was

It's that time of the year again, when people reflect on the year gone by and make new plans and resolutions for the coming year. With 24 days left before we bid adieu to 2005, I'm not really big on making plans and resolutions. The farthest I can see now is my New Year's eve celebration (but you see, Mr. B from the Blue Telco just called me this morning informing me of a party which I'm expected to be at on 31 Dec.. and I cringe thinking about that because my plan was to celebrate New Year's eve at home with plenty of food and alcohol).

As for plans for the coming year, I'll figure the rest of it out as I go along in 2006. That leaves me with plenty of time on hand for reflection.

To those I've hurt either via a string of verbal abuse hurled at you or that you were subjected to a series of sarcastic remarks by me, physically by stepping on your toes while I'm tottering around klutzily in my 3-inch heels, emotionally by course of my actions which you've deemed irresponsible and negligent, mentally by me giving you pressure in the form of work issues, relationship matters, and any other trivial or nitty matters - I am sorry.

I am sorry if I've eye-balled you on the street because you were gawking at my breasts, in the cafe because you were talking loudly on your mobile phone and ignoring the presence of other patrons, in the lift when you insisted on squeezing in despite the buzzing sound indicating an overload, and after the door wouldn't shut; you look around to check for fat ones and expect THEM to step out instead, and at the mall because we both reached for the last strip of white Vitagen and you snatched it off the shelf even before I could say "Piss off!".

I am apologetic to the authorities because I bribed your traffic officers, flirted with them to avoid getting a fine, sucked air instead of blowing air out when asked to do a breath test during roadblocks (and passed!), and on most occassions think that policemen look like big, brown, fat pigs who are perpetually stuffing their faces (literally and metaphorically).

I hope also to be forgiven for all the times when I've morbidly cursed the person who tailgated me and by being a road bully who incessantly kept flashing his lights at me from the back, the person who hovers above the toilet to pee instead of sitting on it; and thus causing yellow stains of urine all around the toilet seat, the person who stole my rusty stapler in the office, and the person who smeared make-up around the collar of the last piece of blouse which I wanted.

I am also sorry for being snooty by bitching about you and your non-existent sex life, mocked your sense of fashion; but only because you turn up in public wearing such a gaudy looking thing, getting impatient with your lack of command of the English language when speaking to you over the phone that I end up shouting "You Cina? Melayu? India?" so that I can try to converse to you in your mother tongue instead (but then I remember that I can't speak Tamil or Hindi).

And last but not least....

To my family - my parents and my sisters - you're the only thing in this world that I will sacrifice anything for. Really. Because I know you will be there for me no matter what, stick by me through thick and thin, forgive me and still love me all the same despite the things I've said or done which have caused you sleepless nights, hurt and despair. I promise to be better.

To my babe - Love ya! And thank you for loving me back!

To my friends - I know I'm not exactly a perfect 10 when it comes to being a good friend but I'm trying all the same. Remember that time when I cancelled on you last minute because I was too lazy to get out of bed but gave you a lame excuse? Remember that time when I left you waiting at the cafe because I under-estimated my travelling time and spent too much time on deciding on which outfit to wear? Remember the times when I said I'd call but didn't? Remember that time when I had too much to drink and ended up puking my guts out by the side of the road and you had to wait a couple of hours before I sobered up and then drive me home? Remember that time when I told you that I'm on the highway heading to your place, but I was really just leaving my house then? Remember that time when I forgot to pay you for the movie tickets you helped me purchase? I'm sorry for it all.

Posted by Doreen at 3:09 pm