Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Freezing My Eggs

I had a sex change over the weekend.

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On another note, Grandma celebrated her 80th birthday over the weekend. In fact, I think this is the first birthday of hers which I've attended in many, many, MANY years. It's been so long that I can't even remember when the last one was. *guilty as charged*

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This is Grandma and me, her eldest grand-daughter.

Grandma babysitted me till I was 2, and she always look back on those days fondly. She used to call me Ah Lan, derived from my Chinese name, Yee Lan. But I hated it so much. It's so... cina. Not that there is anything wrong with being Chinese or having a Chinese name. But I just didn't like the "Lan" part of my name that's all. In written Chinese, it's supposed to be some flower (Urgh!), but in Romanized text, "lan" is always associated with "lan" / "lan jiao" (Hokkein for penis).

So now you see why I don't like the Lan in my name. Anyways, she doesn't call me Ah Lan anymore. It's Doreen these days. But it doesn't come out quite right, and I won't even attempt to spell her pronunciation my name here.

Anyways, I had my initial reservations about attending the dinner, but eventually tagged along since mom came all the way from JB to attend the dinner as well.

Why my reservations?

"Got boyfriend already ah?" asked second aunt. "Aiyoooo! Look at your blouse! Why cut so low? Can see your longkang already!" she squealed and proceeded to yank my blouse upwards to hide my longkang (cleavage).

"Ah yee, you very kolot (old fashioned) lah!"

(Side note: Does my tits look over-exposed in that black top? Refer to picture above)

"When do I get to drink tea?" asked third aunt.

"Huh? Drink tea? I thought we are heading for dinner soon, why still want to yum cha?"

"Not young anymore lah, when are you getting married? You know, ah yee got married at 27!", said youngest aunt.

"Oh, but that was the last generation ma! Plus, I'm not 27 yet! Still got time lah!"

"But you DO have a boyfriend already right?" asked third aunt. "Got picture or not? Show us lah!"

"Yes I do, but I don't have pictures now cos I thought I was attending Grandma's birthday dinner, so I didn't bother lugging my photo albums around".

"Wah, this year we have 40 persons attending grandma's birthday party! Next year we will need an extra table because some of you might be bringing your girlfriends and boyfriends along, right Doreen?" said third uncle.

"Oh, see how first lah! Don't worry, I'll RSVP in time should I be bringing anyone".

"Why never bring boyfriend and let grandma see?" she asked.

"No yet lah poh poh..." I said meekly. (Must not piss the matriarch off on her birthday).

There were a few others as well, and I counted a total of 9 such comments throughout the entire evening. Yes, questions and comments reminding me that I have come of age, and it would be wise that I get married soon.

I didn't want to take it too far by informing them that should I not get married before I hit the big three-oh, I will make my way to a fertility clinic to have my eggs extracted and freezed.

Oh well.

Posted by Doreen at 6:29 pm